


A Test in Patience

by choiceofthereader



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novels)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:22:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26528182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choiceofthereader/pseuds/choiceofthereader
Summary: As you march towards him, you know that Ethan recognizes the look on your face—the one that tells him you're teetering on the edge between selflessness and reckless abandon. Some might say the two walk hand-in-hand, but that hasn't stopped you before.It sure as hell isn't stopping you now.(An exploration of the potential thoughts and feelings of the Open Heart MC during the reception scene in Chapter 12. No OC, just you.)
Relationships: Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	A Test in Patience

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> This is basically a retelling of Chapter 12 during the reception scene, focusing on the potential thoughts and feelings of the Open Heart MC. Was originally going to write a 2nd chapter focusing on more... smutty bits, but then I realized I have no idea how to write smut. 😌 Sorry if the writing is a little rough—this is my first ever fic, so I hope you enjoy it !

You're surrounded by a mass of those in shared sorrow, but you can't help but to feel so... _lonely_. The murmured whispers of condolences shroud you, and the reminder of how you've **_failed_** settles low and deep in the pit of your stomach. If only it were alone in its skulking...

Grief.

_Frustration._

**_Helplessness._ **

Your hands and jaw clench in tandem, Sienna's words running rampant through your skull. 

_"Why do so many people have to make it worse by hurting each other?"_

Her question left you at a loss for words. What could you possibly say? That you don't know? Blame it on the basis of human nature? Is that what it means to be human? To _hurt?_ To **_kill?_** You don't if know if you can believe that—there are _good_ people in this world, you _know_ that, good people like...

You slam a door on the thought, but it doesn't stop two familiar faces reflecting back at you in the inky depths of your mind. It causes a rush of restlessness to settle over your bones, a need to do something— _anything_ —to bring the world you carry back up on its feet. Sienna was right; without each other, where would you all be? So maybe you weren't able to save Danny or Bobby, but that doesn't mean you can't save others. With an idea fluttering around in your head, you let your gaze flit over the crowd...

Spotting Aurora, you head in her direction. You ignore the look she gives you—the look that _everyone_ has been giving you. You can't tell if they're projecting pity or concern—hell, maybe both—but it doesn't matter. Right now they're on two sides of the same coin, but you push down the slight exasperation it makes you feel. Now isn't the time about _you_.

You've been given a second chance, and you'll be _damned_ if you won't use it wisely.

"We need to talk to Ethan," you say upon reaching her. No more wasting time—not anymore. "Mass Kenmore and Edenbrook need each other." 

__

If she notices the desperate look in your eyes, she pointedly ignores it. Instead, her brows furrow, a myriad of emotions shining at you. She finally settles on mild shock, and a small huff of disbelief escapes her.

"What, _now?"_ she whispers, brows rising. "We're at a memorial service." The words leave her in an urgent, hushed tone, and her gaze travels around the room as if to remind you of your location—as if you could forget. " _Besides_ ," she adds, her tone hoping that you'll somehow see reason. "We don't have a proper pitch."

____

"That doesn't matter!" you choke out, the sharp laugh escaping you bordering on hysterical. "Tobias and Ethan worked _together_ to solve what we all thought was fatal!" 

____

You don't understand why she can't see how _perfect_ the idea is. The two biggest hospitals coming together to cure the unsolvable—to save those who have already been branded as damned. It makes frustration grate at your nerves, the bitter taste of displeasure heavy on your tongue. The idea kills two birds with one stone, but you can already see a rebuttal forming at the tip of her tongue.

You won't give her the chance.

Turning on your heel, you give a quick scan of the room until you find the man you're looking for—Ethan. With a man so hell-bent on saving his patients, surely he'll see the benefits of your idea, right? Even though it's in short supply, you _hope_. 

____

As you stride towards him, his eyes tighten as he glances from you to Aurora quickly trailing behind. You know that he recognizes the look on your face—the one that tells him you're teetering on the edge between selflessness and reckless abandon. Some might say the two walk hand-in-hand, but that hasn't stopped you before. 

____

It sure as hell isn't stopping you now. 

____

"We have an idea to save the hospital," you announce. Your words are firm, your conviction even more so, but it doesn't ease the maelstrom of anxiety clawing its way up your throat. You just hope it's not visible on your face.

Ethan's brows raise, his measured gaze shifting from you to Aurora once more. Clearing his throat, he looks back to you. 

"...Can it wait until we're back _at_ the hospital?" 

_What?_

"No!" you snap, jaw grinding. "Why do you keep trying to block ideas to help Edenbrook?" 

His eyes soften, and a low murmur of your name leaves him. His hands twitch at his sides, almost as if he wants to reach for you, to _comfort_ you, but you won't let him. Not this time. 

" _No._ " The word escapes from you in a low sneer, and the sluggish anger that has been coursing through your veins comes _alive_. It's always _something_ with him—you take one step closer to the edge just for him to pull you back. One day, he is going to have to let you fall. 

"I've been busting my ass for _months_ trying to figure out how to keep Edenbrook afloat, and you just bitched and moaned the entire time!" So how about this time, you just _listen_?" The words leave you in a rush, and you can feel your chest rising and falling rapidly, breath coming out in sharp pants. Your face feels hot, the low thrum of adrenaline pumping through your veins making you feel on edge as you openly scrutinize Ethan. 

Aurora's gaze is hot on your face as if she can't believe what she's hearing, but you don't turn to look at her. Instead, you keep your eyes steady on Ethan, openly challenging him. When neither of you speaks, Aurora steps forward. 

"Um, wow," she stammers out. "Dr. Ramsey, I am so sor—" 

He holds out a stand to stop her and shakes his head, the cool blue of his eyes never leaving yours. You wonder what he sees. 

"Alright." He bobs his head. "Tell me your idea." The sinking feeling in your gut is replaced by a brief surge of joy, and your explanation leaves you in a jumbled rush. 

"Mass Kenmore and Edenbrook can team up to solve budget cuts," you quickly explain. Looking at Aurora, you nod your head in affirmation for her to continue. 

"They're right," Aurora nods. "If we share resources and redundancies, we can balance the losses. Neither hospital would go under." 

You think of Senator Farrugia. Just his name conjures disgust, but you know you can make use of his influence. "With the senator in the picture, the media is interested in us right now," you add, urging him to see reason. Ethan stays silent, eyes boring into yours. His expression never wavers, and it grinds at your nerves. Why won't he say something— _anything_? 

"It's a... bold idea," he finally acknowledges, albeit hesitantly. 

"So help us pitch it. The hospital doesn't care about us, but _you_ —" You pause, pointing a finger in his direction. "You and Tobias could go to the board with this." 

Holding out a hand to stop you, Ethan frowns and says your name softly. "You have to know that this isn't a cure-all. With shared resources and redundancies means potential job loss." 

"Then I'll be the first one to volunteer for layoffs!" you snap. "If that's what it takes to help Edenbrook..." You trail off, letting your gaze harden as you look between the two. "Then so be it." They both look startled at your admission, but you have nothing left to say. Why speak when your actions will do it for you? 

"You don't need to throw yourself into the fire," Aurora cautions. 

You shake your head. Edenbrook is your home, the patients your family. You will bend until you _break_. "I will do _whatever_ it takes," you enunciate, eyes falling to Ethan. "So, will you talk to Tobias?" 

His face screws into one of uncertainty, eyes flickering back and forth between the two of you. You know that look—you _hate_ that look. 

"I... I don't know," Ethan stutters out. "I don't know if Tobias will agree if I'm on boa—" 

"Danny and Bobby just _died_ for Edenbrook!" you scold, nails digging into the meat of your palm. There is an amalgamation of emotions swirling through your head right now, but what lies beneath is a cold _fury_ that leaves you nearly breathless. Is it so hard to put aside a petty feud? "The _least_ you can do is talk to a man you don't like to save it." 

The corners of Ethan's mouth falls into a small, admonished frown, but he says nothing, and you know that he's observing you. He sees it all—the rigidity in your posture, fists clenched at your sides, the anguish that has made its home in your heart. It unnerves you, and you can't help but to look away. 

"I'm not saying no," he begins, the placating tone irking you. "Just give me a little time, okay?" 

"...Fine," you grind out, crossing your arms. 

The silence nearly becomes oppressive before he calls your name. "Can we talk for a moment?" 

Before you can speak, Aurora forces out a smile towards you. "I'll leave you two alone." Lips pursing at the both of you, she pivots on her heel and walks away. 

"I'm so sick of everyone looking at me like that," you admit. Like you're fragile, one wrong step away from breaking. They all observe you, pincers looking for the jagged piece that will make you _crumble_ , like they're expecting you to. But you won't break—not now. If not for Danny and Bobby, then for the lives that rest upon you. 

"I know it must be frustrating," Ethan whispers as if he's trying to soothe the anger that has sprouted its way out of you, and you want to scream—want to shout at what he knows about loss. The image of Dolores rattles in your skull and you let him continue, the thought shaming you into silence. "This is still raw for everyone," he continues. "We can only imagine what it must feel like for you." 

A shiver runs through you, your skin all of a sudden feelingly familiarly oily, like a light sheen has laid rest upon you. 

"You know what it was like," you mumble, averting your gaze. How could you— _either of you_ —forget? The worried looks everyone gave you, the silence from Bobby and Danny, broken only by Rafael's stuttering breaths. Ethan holding you in his arms, neither of you knowing if it would be your last day... No, you don't think you'll ever forget. 

"Which is why I'm worried about you," he admits earnestly. "I saw what it did to you, how it ripped away your control." Ethan lays a heavy hand on your shoulder, "It's okay to feel that way—to live in it, even." 

Huffing, you shrug off his arm and walk away, his eyes a heavy brand on your retreating back. You don't need people to understand—you need them to _act_. You rub at your eyes with the tips of your fingers, pushing in deep until you see stars. Until you no longer see the two sets of gentle eyes staring back at you. 

. . . 

The night passes by in a blur filled with tear-laden smiles as you all reminisced about Bobby and Danny, the invisible weight on your shoulders weighing heavier and heavier. The halls steadily clear and for that you're grateful, but you can feel it—a small ball of anxiety forming beneath your ribs. You don't want to go home right now—hell, maybe never. You need a distraction, something—no, _somone_ —to occupy your mind. There's movement in your peripherals, and you look to see Ethan standing by his lonesome. Your earlier conversation with him plays throughout your mind, but you swallow down the slight resentment and walk towards him. His eyes find yours, a slight smile lifting the corner of his mouth in what you know is meant to be a comforting gesture. 

"What are you still doing here?" you ask. 

He averts his gaze, inhaling deeply just to release it mere seconds later. "I mean to leave an hour ago, but..." he trails off, pausing. 

Your eyes squint, "But what?" 

Ethan opens his mouth to speak but closes it just as quickly. His body language screams skittish, so you keep silent to let him go at his own pace. A few seconds pass before he tries again. "But you were still here," he admits, tone gentle. 

His words leave in a low whisper, but yet it's comforting all the same. They wash over you like a caress, and it makes you realize just how _drained_ you truly are. You want to rest your head on his shoulder, burying your face in his neck, _anything_. Will he tell you that it'll be alright? Tether you to reality when your tears threaten to float you away? You must project what you're feeling because Ethan steps closer to you. 

"Can I..." Ethan hesitates, a war of needs and wants visible in his eyes, but he continues. "Can I drive you home?" You don't try to stop the small smile that breaks out on your face and nod. "Sure." 

Saying your goodbyes to the few stragglers left and collecting your things, you step out of the building and into the light drizzle of rain. The rain is fitting, you think. A physical representation of the cloud over your head. As you begin walking towards Ethan's car, his hand snakes out to grab yours, fingers interlacing. He squeezes, once, twice, and continues to walk. It's a small gesture, but a comforting one all the same. 

A soft, small smile forms on your lips and you think... _hope_ , that things will be okay. 

____

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to visit me on Tumblr, please do so! I am under the same username. Also, this fic is posted on there, but that is more of like... a rough draft I have yet to revise. I might revise this, lol. The ending is too abrupt for me, but I'll deal with that later. Спасибо ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ


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